The Fall
by nothingspecific
Summary: They're James and Lily, two separate entities on different ends of the spectrum, who have forever focussed on each others grating idiosyncrasies, afraid to acknowledge the winning qualities that compels them both to each other. But now everything is different, she is different, jaded, and more hard hearted, could the Golden Boy save her from her own Fall?


_I've finished all of my exams, and so I'm committing myself fully to this, so expect regular updates, and a whole lot of chapters! I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go with this story, but I'm still open to suggestions._

* * *

He smokes far too much, loving the way it effortlessly hangs between his pursed lips, but hating the pungent after taste that lingers on the roof of his mouth. Every time she saw it between his full lips, she would tell him how it was going to be the death of him, to which he would languidly roll his eyes and pretend to ignore her.

She studies far too hard, she can't seem to remember what she looked like before the dark ominous circles around her emerald eyes appeared, it is almost as if it has become a part of who she is. He used to tease her continuously about the way she would raise her hand in lesson, militant like with no regrets or qualms, and then he would cruelly mimic the way she bent over a textbook and the clawed way her fingers would grip the long stem of her favourite quill.

He's much too tall, his looming stature dominating the school hallways, giving him an authoritative quality, another quality which of course all of the girls found simply irresistible, dreaming of his long body hovering over their ecstatic ones. She used to hate it how he would use his height to intimidate her, how he would slightly bend over her, fully aware of how her heart would be thrumming wildly with both anger and an undeniable craving.

She's much too absorbed with books to worry about her appearance, make up to her is some banal idiocy that girls use to feel superior, and she's simply learnt to tolerate her stubborn copper curls which add an element of structured chaos to her life. He used to hate how she pretended not to care, separating herself from all of the other girls, and yet he was fully aware how every insult he delivered bruised her and heightened her insecurities.

He's a lothario and carries his reputation like a trophy, as if it is something to be envied. After losing his virginity at the age of fifteen to Daisy Dearborn in the Forbidden Forest – whose eagerness was encouraging but couldn't distract him from the shallow thrusts and the empty feeling that encompassed him afterwards – he began to truly realise the effect he had on women. She would try and focus on something else, anything else, when she heard a group of Ravenclaw girls gossiping in the library about the charm and allure he had prior to the animalistic thrashing, and the disgruntled and detached nature he assumed in the post coital bliss.

She's pure and wholesome, her innocence something that he used to ridicule, and other boys strived to corrupt. Her first kiss was with a Hufflepuff, an accidental, awkward peck that he interrupted and mocked her about for a full month mainly because he couldn't drive the image of it from his head. She chose books over boys, except for one, and that was something that he just couldn't fathom.

They're Gryffindor's, two separate entities on different ends of the spectrum, but they're connection proving to override the difference in the way that they look at the world.

They're Potter and Evans, who both focus on each other's imperfections and grating idiosyncrasies as if too frightened to pay attention to the winning qualities that compels them to each other.

They're James and Lily, and they haven't spoken for over three months. It was after the 'incident' which conveniently happened before summer allowing Lily to at least escape the pitiful expressions and the arrogant smirks from the Marauders, she of course spent the entire family holiday in Wales crying into an unfamiliar pillow and biting on the downy duvet to stop her sobs waking Petunia or her parents. No matter what hill her eager Father dragged her up, or what ancient library her Mother tempted her with could diminish the pure devastation that followed Lily Evans. Nothing could rid his words, and James' face, nothing could eradicate the tears. She didn't want to return to Hogwarts and face them both, face all of the memories, so alive, and real, and raw. But it was her home, and despite all of the horrific memories that would haunt her, she had no choice . She was weak to the memories, to her emotions, and she despised everything that those words he had uttered had done to her.

In the depth of the night, with the sheets pulled over her mouth, Lily closed her eyes, letting her defences down to allow that memory to replay for the hundredth time, to allow the pain to wash over her body in one languorous sweep.

* * *

They had always been connected, somehow, some way, even when the Sorting Hat separated them physically from each other placing tension and rivalry that traditionally came with the Gryffindor and Slytherin divide, Lily still felt tethered to him.

They had met under the juniper tree by the small, uninteresting park in their neighbourhood and he had painted the world with vibrancy and excitement and then shared it with her.

They were far too young to experience the rush, and excitement of the _Fall_, or to fully acknowledge the sense of immense satisfaction and comfort that they both gained when with each other. But for years, they orbited each other, dreaming of life away from her dreadful sister and his soul crushing home life, dreaming of the red steam train that would carry them away into a better, more brighter life.

He had always cared too much about what others thought, his self-consciousness stifled his character, but with her he didn't feel like he was being scrutinized or judged. She radiated warmth and whenever her rays touched him, his mind was at peace.

They had promised, in a small alcove where nobody could find them that they wouldn't let the house divide get in the way that their years of laughter and honesty would prevail. He had held her close whilst she sobbed, tentatively patting her back, he knew, even as an eleven year old intense young boy, that he would break that promise and consequently break her.

Years followed of secret meetings, shared smiles, and unspoken conversations, but Lily Evans still believed that the tether was unbreakable, and that no matter how far he went away from her, that their bond would be invincible through it all.

But Lily Evans was naïve to the power of darkness. She had spent years ignoring the Marauder's plight, years getting furious at James Potter for mercilessly teasing her best friend, years of defending the tall, pale faced boy whose eyes were becoming more sunken into the back of his head. Whenever she had heard of any rumours of what he and the others had done to small first year muggleborns she refused to believe the disgusting details, even when Potter had dragged her by the arm and shown her Mulciber and Avery pummelling a defenceless student to a pulp, she had refused to believe that her best friend, her childhood friend would ever be embroiled in such things.

Lily was determined to hold onto his light and not let anyone tarnish or diminish it. But she failed to realise that the darkness had engulfed him. For it was Severus Snape, and only Severus, who could steal his light that Lily clutched onto and shatter it.

* * *

A muffled whimper, a damp pillow, she clenched her fists and tightly squeezed her eyes shut, ready to face the barrage of relentless memories.

* * *

" _Potions, History of Magic and then Charms" Lily muttered under breath, swinging her satchel over one shoulder and walking out of the Great Hall after the usual breakfast of trying to catch Severus' eyes, to which he defiantly avoided her emerald gaze. Sighing, Lily thought about how her sixth year should have been different, how she had dreamt of her eagle featured best friend defying the traditions, and the expectations of his peers and sitting with her at the Gryffindor table, chatting over breakfast. She knew that she had ostracized herself from her house, many thought her to be a traitor, Marlene and Alice surely didn't support her in any way regarding Sev', and the Marauders seemed to have a vendetta on proving her wrong. Potter, the arrogant toad, seemed to do everything and anything in his power to rile up Severus to gain a reaction, but none of them understood the roots of their friendship, how much they had told each other, what they had been through together. _

_Lily's train of thought was abruptly interrupted by Black, the muscular, broad Gryffindor Beater who featured in most of the girls' fantasies, his shaggy black hair framing his humorous blue eyes were undoubtedly attractive, but his irritating and cock-sure personality reduced his good looks. _

"_Hey Evans, you didn't half look pathetic mooning over old Snivellus down there" His northern tones drawled patronisingly in her ear. _

_She ignored him, attempting to not to rise to the bait that he was clearly teasing her with. She was aware of the others walking closely to her, crowding around her, so she began to walk with more purpose to Potions, wishing for a day, just one day where she wouldn't have to deal with the jibes and antagonising remarks from the Marauders. _

"_Hey Evans!" _

_A different voice from behind her. Peter. His voice was an octave higher, and the cockney accent was unmistakeable. _

"_Evans, do you dream of washing Sniv's hair?"_

_He chuckled at his own joke, but the others fell silent, not wanting to encourage Pettigrew's poor jokes that had the capability to lessen their "cool" image. Lily began to go over the formulae for the sleeping draught in her head, meticulously remembering details that would impress Slughorn. She was out of the Great Hall and into the Entrance. A hand suddenly caught onto her arm, spinning her around, stopping her in her tracks. She didn't even have to guess who it was, it was always him who crossed the line, always him who dared to go further than everyone else, many had said it was his courage, but Lily merely saw it as a product of his lavish upbringing that had turned him into an utter brat. _

_She met his hazel eyes, gold flecks danced in the irises resembling a thousand golden snitches waiting to be caught. He was looming over her, the proximity between them caused many students to stop, and wait for the usual bickering that normally ensued. Lily refused herself to be succumbed by his full mouth, his chiselled features or the raven black hair that seemed to never lie flat. _

"_Just leave it, Potter, I'm late for Potions and I'm not in the mood for your idiocy, so run along with your little friends and leave me the fuck alone." _

_She had said it in a low, barely audible voice not wanting to encourage a shouting match, but before she could turn around and leave the Golden Boy alone in her wake, he raised his voice gesturing to the masses of students, commanding an audience whilst simultaneously keeping his eyes firmly on hers. _

"_Before you go Evans, stick around for the show." _

_She should have seen it coming, she should have recognised why there had been a strange silence after Pettigrew's petty taunt, she should have turned around and seen them signalling towards Severus, nodding their heads in unison to embark on the plan, she should have walked straight away from Potter. Instead, she fell into their trap, his trap, and what ensued would be defined as the worst soul crushing moments of her existence. _

"_Snivellus! My man!" James had spotted him, lurking in the shadows behind the growing audience, the crowd parted like the Red Sea, and Lily's breath caught in the back of her throat. In his black heavy cloak with his a sneer painted on his gaunt face he didn't resemble the bright eyed boy that she used to know. _

_The Levicorpus charm, James' favourite, was met with an attempted Sectumsempra to which the Marauders suddenly huddled around their ring leader, drawing their wands in anger and disbelief. _

"_Not so brave are we now Potter? Poor Potter always having to rely on others so he doesn't seem weak." _

_It had been the first time in over two months since Lily had heard him speak, and something was different, his voice was latent with pure hatred, his inflection was no longer bright nor optimistic but nasal and sardonic. Lily's eyes met Severus' black ones, and she realised that she didn't recognize her best friend anymore, he didn't remind her of the blue skies or daisy chains that followed their childhood, but something darker, more malevolent. And yet still with this realisation, a stronger voice was reminding her that there was hope for him, and that inside was the hysterical young boy who could run like the wind. _

"_Tell her" Potter's voice disturbed her thoughts yet again. _

_The murmuring within the crowd immediately stopped, and eyes fell on the flame haired sporadic young girl. Severus narrowed his eyes at his nemesis as if a threat to warn James of what might happen if he continued. _

"_Levicorpus!" James yelled confidently, his wand guiding the hanging form of Severus Snape closer to himself, with a quick flick of his wrist, the form was spinning wildly and violently until he became a blur of the colour black. Laughter filled the air, and Sirius orchestrated a chant of "Snivellus" that rang throughout the Great Hall. _

"_TELL HER!" James bellowed, ignoring the goading chants of his audience, ignoring the thought of the multiple detentions he could receive if caught, ignoring everything and everyone, his eyes fixated on the rotating figure. _

"_STOP IT! PUT HIM DOWN! PUT HIM DOWN!" Lily screamed, she was filled with fear of the well-being of her oldest, most cherished friend. Her small hands gripped onto James' wand arm, her menacing green orbs implored his causing a shiver to rippled down his body. "Put him down _now." _She threatened, her eyes suddenly rooted on the dark figure of the hanging boy. James looked back at her with an expression that both conveyed pity and disappointment, but conceded, with another twist of his wrist, Severus fell to the floor, his thin limbs hitting the stone floor with a mighty crash. _

_She ran over to the figure on the floor instantaneously, seeking to help him, to comfort him, anything that he needed her to do in that moment Lily would have done it. _

"_Sev, Sev? Are you alright?" She was crouched down, shaking him gently, frightened that she would have to get Madame Pomfrey. Gingerly, she touched his pallid, stone cold cheek, to which he immediately opened his eyes. A face of horror, and disgust was painfully evident in his gaunt features. Quickly, he got on his feet, his eyes locking with James' showcasing pure malevolence and hatred. Yet, Lily was still attempting to bring him back to earth, to rescue him from the fiery flames and restore him to goodness. _

"_Sev" she whispered, surveying the grazes on his cheek, "Let's go to the hospital wing… together." _

_It would have been a perfect opportunity to talk, to catch up, to insult the Marauders and to go back to how it used to be. The indomitable force that used to be Severus Snape and Lily Evans. However, this illusion that Lily had dreamt was shattered by his hateful glance, his eyes that burned with ire as he looked down at the perplexed rosy-cheeked face of Lily. Instinctively, she wanted to wipe away the look, and so mistakenly reached forward to brush the pad of her fingers on his forearm. _

_It was as if she had burnt him. _

_As if he had been scolded by a naked flame, he backed away and snarled, raising his voice so that the gathering that had formed would be able to hear his spiteful, hateful words._

"_Don't you ever touch me again, mudblood."_

_There was pure silence, Lily's heart seemed to stop beating as she could no longer hear the comforting thrumming against her chest, she was empty, she was cold, and her world had fallen from a lofty height and smashed into a million shards. She was rooted to the ground, her eyes on his, imploring for an apology, for a look of regret, for him to wink at her uncharacteristically to prove that it all had just been one elaborate, cruel ploy. But there was nothing. The black dark depths of his eyes were vapid, like an unoccupied house with no signs or indicators that anyone had ever lived inside of it, he was empty, and she was broken. His face was blank, void of emotion, and after a few excruciating seconds he turned on his heel and stalked out of sight._

_She was left alone, in the middle of a silent, unsure congregation. Lily felt as if she were an echo, a distant call, so much so that the vibrancy of life that Severus had once introduced to her felt unattainable, untouchable. She was surrounded by a hoard of sympathetic faces, and yet Lily had never felt so isolated, isolated from her peers, isolated from her own being. She was rapidly crumbling, and she could feel the threatening tears on their way ready to embark on a continuous appearance. _

_With her eyes firmly fixed on the stone floor, she walked away but the humiliation, the hurt, and his betrayal followed her relentlessly and created a perpetual gloom that was unavoidable and unforgettable. Walking slowly up the grand staircase to her dormitory, the murmurs of sympathetic tones began to slowly creep into the space._

_She was crumbling, she was cracking, she was being torn into two, she was being impaled by his words, she was disintegrating into nothingness. Finally, after reaching the final step, Lily allowed the tears to silently roll down the planes of face. _

_A familiar hand wrapped around her wrist gently coaxing her to turn around, Lily couldn't resist, she seemed to have little fight left in her. James Potter confronted her differently this time, without arrogance, or a smirk, or a mischievous agenda. He confronted her with a tenderness, a sweetness, his hazel eyes molten gold with concern. _

"_Evans…" He breathed, taking in the sight of her cascading curls which framed her tear sodden face, her emerald eyes were no longer animated or alive, but instead were bore under the heavy weight of gloom, and sadness. _

"_Evans…" He repeated, trying to find the words, in one sense he wanted to express that he had always been right about the hateful Slytherin, but in the other, more potent sense he wanted to pepper her tears away with kisses and promise to beat the bastard to a pulp for being such a callous cretin. _

"_Don't," she said blankly, through the tears, her voice shaking, she met his burning gaze with a metallic stare "Don't you ever touch me or talk to me again Potter, you did this, and I hate you for it." _

_And with that, she walked away from him. Away from normalcy, away from optimism, away from hope, and into the grey._

* * *

"Are you crying again?" An irritated, high pitched voice came from the opposite end of the shared bedroom.

Lily didn't answer, knowing she wouldn't be able to seek comfort, or advice, or love from her elder sister, and so instead buried her face into the pillow, praying that she could go back, rewind time and reason with Sev, and strongly wishing that she had never met James Potter.

* * *

_Thank you so much for reading, I'd love to hear your opinions on it, so please feel free to _**review **_and _**subscribe! **


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